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Taking Care by Lisa Petsche
Diagnosis Of Cancer Is Life-Changing
For Patient And Loved Ones
Lisa Petsche
A diagnosis of cancer is life-changing for the diagnosed person and those close to them. It launches them into a whole new world of medical information and procedures. Life suddenly revolves around consultations, tests and treatments, and the outcome is uncertain.
If the diagnosed person has pre-existing health conditions, such as dementia, their care needs are multiplied.
If you are caring for a relative with cancer, the following are some things you can do to help manage the stress.
Accept
Accept the reality of the illness. Let go of any bitterness resulting from interrupted plans and dreams so you can channel your energy in constructive ways.
Allow yourself to experience all emotions that surface.
Bear in mind that cancer affects people physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and that, although there may be similarities, no two people will experience it the same way.
Accept that how your relative feels and what they can do may fluctuate. Be flexible about plans and expectations.
Learn
Educate yourself about your relative’s type of cancer. Share the information with family and friends to help them understand.
Research community services that can help. The local Cancer Society branch and office on aging are good resources.
Commmunicate
Allow yourself time to adjust to your relative’s illness and the changes it necessitates. Your relative will also need time to adapt. Be patient and keep communication lines open.
Allow your relative to express any and all emotions. Don’t try to talk them out of their feelings, discourage tears or change the subject because of your discomfort.
Involve your relative (if able) and other family members in decision-making as much as possible. Don’t shoulder all of the responsibility.
Ask questions and express concerns when meeting with health professionals. Bring a notebook to appointments.
Keep loved ones informed of changes in your relative’s treatment plan and health status.
Prepare
Find out what to expect in terms of caregiving skills, medical equipment and community supports likely to be needed.
Talk with your relative about their wishes. Discuss living arrangements, outside help, surrogate decision-making, medical intervention and end-of-life care, and funeral arrangements. Be careful not to make promises you may not be able to keep.
Help your relative complete legal paperwork such as advance directives, powers of attorney and a will.
Simplify
Eliminate as many sources of stress in your life as possible. Set priorities, streamline tasks and learn to settle for less than perfection.
Take things one day at a time so you don’t become overwhelmed.
Learn to live in the moment and focus on life’s simpler pleasures.
Practice Self-Care
Set aside quiet time each day, to nurture your spirituality and help keep you grounded.
Do something that provides you with meaning and purpose outside of the caregiving role, such as scrapbooking or researching your family tree.
Look after your health. Eat nutritious meals, get adequate rest, exercise and see your primary physician regularly.
Find something relaxing you can do every day — perhaps reading or listening to music.
Schedule regular breaks. Take a couple of hours, a day or an overnight. By being kind to yourself this way, you’ll be more effective when you resume your caregiving tasks.
Connect
Stay connected to your friends.
Find a person you can talk to openly — someone who will listen and empathize. It’s important to express your thoughts and feelings.
Talk with other caregivers. Join a support group in your community or online.
Get Help
Accept offers of help. Ask other family members to pitch in and be specific about what you need.
Take advantage of outpatient and home care services in your community.
*
Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker who has professional and personal experience with elder care. She is also a freelance writer specializing in boomer and senior issues.
If the diagnosed person has pre-existing health conditions, such as dementia, their care needs are multiplied.
If you are caring for a relative with cancer, the following are some things you can do to help manage the stress.
Accept
Accept the reality of the illness. Let go of any bitterness resulting from interrupted plans and dreams so you can channel your energy in constructive ways.
Allow yourself to experience all emotions that surface.
Bear in mind that cancer affects people physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and that, although there may be similarities, no two people will experience it the same way.
Accept that how your relative feels and what they can do may fluctuate. Be flexible about plans and expectations.
Learn
Educate yourself about your relative’s type of cancer. Share the information with family and friends to help them understand.
Research community services that can help. The local Cancer Society branch and office on aging are good resources.
Commmunicate
Allow yourself time to adjust to your relative’s illness and the changes it necessitates. Your relative will also need time to adapt. Be patient and keep communication lines open.
Allow your relative to express any and all emotions. Don’t try to talk them out of their feelings, discourage tears or change the subject because of your discomfort.
Involve your relative (if able) and other family members in decision-making as much as possible. Don’t shoulder all of the responsibility.
Ask questions and express concerns when meeting with health professionals. Bring a notebook to appointments.
Keep loved ones informed of changes in your relative’s treatment plan and health status.
Prepare
Find out what to expect in terms of caregiving skills, medical equipment and community supports likely to be needed.
Talk with your relative about their wishes. Discuss living arrangements, outside help, surrogate decision-making, medical intervention and end-of-life care, and funeral arrangements. Be careful not to make promises you may not be able to keep.
Help your relative complete legal paperwork such as advance directives, powers of attorney and a will.
Simplify
Eliminate as many sources of stress in your life as possible. Set priorities, streamline tasks and learn to settle for less than perfection.
Take things one day at a time so you don’t become overwhelmed.
Learn to live in the moment and focus on life’s simpler pleasures.
Practice Self-Care
Set aside quiet time each day, to nurture your spirituality and help keep you grounded.
Do something that provides you with meaning and purpose outside of the caregiving role, such as scrapbooking or researching your family tree.
Look after your health. Eat nutritious meals, get adequate rest, exercise and see your primary physician regularly.
Find something relaxing you can do every day — perhaps reading or listening to music.
Schedule regular breaks. Take a couple of hours, a day or an overnight. By being kind to yourself this way, you’ll be more effective when you resume your caregiving tasks.
Connect
Stay connected to your friends.
Find a person you can talk to openly — someone who will listen and empathize. It’s important to express your thoughts and feelings.
Talk with other caregivers. Join a support group in your community or online.
Get Help
Accept offers of help. Ask other family members to pitch in and be specific about what you need.
Take advantage of outpatient and home care services in your community.
*
Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker who has professional and personal experience with elder care. She is also a freelance writer specializing in boomer and senior issues.