- Columns - Current and Archives
- Looking Back by Jack Lebo - February 2012 >
- Murphy's Law - July 2013>
- Murphy's Law - May 2013
- Murphy's Law - April 2013
- Murphy's Law - March 2013
- Murphy's Law - February 2013
- Murphy's Law - January 2013
- Murphy's Law - December 2012
- Murphy's Law - November 2012
- Murphy's Law - October 2012
- Murphy's Law - September 2012
- Murphy's Law - August 2012
- Murphy's Law - July 2012
- Murphy's Law - June 2012
- Murphy's Law - May 2012
- Murphy's Law - April 2012
- Murphy's Law - March 2012
- Murphy's Law - February 2012
- Murphy's Law - January 2012
- Murphy's Law - December 2011
- Murphy's Law - November 2011
- Murphy's Law - October 2011
- Murphy's Law - September 2011
- Murphy's Law - August 2011
- Murphy's Law - July 2011
- Murphy's Law - June 2011
- Murphy's Law - May 2011
- Your Money Matters by Thomas Sottile - February 2013>
- Taking Care by Lisa Petsche - May 2013>
- Taking Care - April 2013
- Taking Care - March 2013
- Taking Care - February 2013
- Taking Care - January 2013
- Taking Care - December 2012
- Taking Care - November 2012
- Taking Care - October 2012
- Taking Care - September 2012
- Taking Care - August 2012
- Taking Care - July 2012
- Taking Care - June 2012
- Taking Care - May 2012
- Travel Articles
- There's Much To Like About Tybee Island, Georgia
- PA’s Little Town Of Bethlehem Has Giant History, Pleasant Surprises
- Savannah Style: History, Food, Architecture And Even Ghosts
- Vacationing Beats Back Winter
- Visiting The Inn At Pocono Manor
- Delights of Northern Ireland
- Tuscana Resort near Orlando
- Belfast To Commemorate Titanic
- Protect Your Home While Vacationing
- Nearby Hampton Roads, Virginia
- New 'Heritage' Travel Division Formed
- Lifestyle Articles
- PAE-300 ‘Personal Audio Enhancer’ Brings New Sounds And Clarity To Television
- Seniors Desire To Stay In Home Has Led To Innovative Housing
- ‘Pleasantly Plump’ May Not Pose Serious Health Problems After All
- Spring Hills Brings Home Care, Assisted Living to S. Jersey
- Sense Of Family Obligation Remains Strong
- Becoming Bilingual Thought To Delay Onset Of Cognitive Impairment
- Comprehensive Study Provides Foundation For ‘New American Diet’
- Is Alzheimer's A Myth?
- Living Alone, Without Loneliness
- Chocolate In Moderation
- Expert: Forgiveness, Gratitude Are Essential For Healthy Aging
- Expert: No Limit To Length Of Life
- Media-Based Pennsylvania Veterans Museum Is Historic Treasure
- Joint Task: Take Action To Combat Knee Pain
- Want Better Performance From Portfolio? Watch Congress
- Conscientiousness Key To Longevity
- Men, Women 'Retire' Differently
- Sleep Problems And Cognitive Issues
- Newsworthy
- Binge Drinking Is A National Problem — Even With Senior Citizens
- Study Warns Of High Cardiovascular Disease Risks Of Eating Yolks
- Study: 'Old' People Smell Better
- Depression, Anxiety Are Key Factors In Impact Of Parkinson’s Disease
- Study: Don’t Worry, Be Happy For Better Cardiovascular Health
- ‘Chore Connection’ Provides Unique Services, Volunteer Opportunities
- Study Reinforces Benefits Of Regular Colonoscopies
- Study: 'Senior Moments' Begin Earlier
- Three New Studies Suggest Aspirin May Prevent Some Cancers
- No Sure Bet: Seniors Must Recognize Potential Gambling Problems
- Coping With Grief
- New Recommendation Creates Debate Over Prostate Screening
- High Salt, Low Potassium Diet Linked To Increased Death Risk
- Medical Director At HCR ManorCare Receives APPLE Award
- RomneyCare Awful Lot Like Obamacare
- Grandkids Safer With Gram/Pop At Wheel
- AARP: Recession Hits Seniors Hard
- Antidepressants Can Increase Danger of Falling
- Poll: Low Marks For U.S. Healthcare
- More Good News For Coffee Drinkers
- Book Reviews
- We The People
- The Immortal Life Of Henrietta Lacks
- The Love Of My Youth
- The American Way Of Eating
- ‘Rin Tin Tin’
- Pity The Billionaire
- Classic: Uncle Tom's Cabin
- A Stocking Full Of New Christmas Novels
- When China Rules The World
- The Submission - Amy Waldman
- My Soul's Been Psychedelicized
- Reckless Endangerment
- O'Nan's 'Emily Alone'
- Baseball In The Garden Of Eden
- Leisure / Entertainment
- Music - Donald Fagen's 'Eminent Hipster,' Jimi Hendrix Release
- Music - Two CD-Set Features Elvis In Hawaii; Eric Burdon Has New Release
- Music - Billy Joel's 'Love Songs' Set For Release
- Music - Paul Anka Shows Off His Versatility With Compilation CD Of ‘Duets’
- Music - Elvis, Otis Redding Fans Treated To Compilation Sets
- Music - Even At Age 80, Willie Nelson Flaunts Staying Power With Duets Album
- Music - New 63-CD Set Spans Much Of Johnny Cash's Career
- Music - Preservation Jazz Hall Band Celebrates Anniversary
- Music - New Releases Spotlight Garfunkel, Los Lobos
- Music - Television Pioneer Ernie Kovacs Featured In Two New DVD Releases
- Music - Simon’s ‘Graceland’ Album Celebrated With Anniversary Release
- Music - New Releases of Hathaway, Heart Music
- Music - Willie Nelson Still Producing New Music
- Music - New Release of Elvis' Work
- Music - 'The Sound Of Philadelphia'
- Music - Dave Brubeck, Hank Williams Reissues
- Music - Janis Joplin Showcased On 2 New CD Releases
- Music - Paul Simon, Jimi Hendrix Reissues
- Legal Articles
- Adult Children May Be Left To Pay Nursing Home Costs Of Indigent Parents
- Make A Resolution That Provides Long-Term Security
- Dialogue Helps Control And Direct Legal, Financial & Medical Matters
- Life Changes Can Require Revisions, Updates To Estate Plan
- Wills Create Solid Foundation For Effective Estate Planning
- Keep Or Shred? Know What To Do With Personal, Financial Records
- Recent Court Ruling Makes It ‘Open Season’ On Adult Children In PA
- Assuring For Care Of Your Pet
- Reader Resources
- Links To Government and Social Services
- Senior Discounts / bradsdeals.com
- For Advertisers / 2013
- To Subscribe
- Contact Us
- Submitting Letters To The Editor
Taking Care by Lisa Petsche
For Caregivers, Planning And Self-Care
Can Minimize Stress
Lisa Petsche
Looking after a senior relative, however rewarding, is not without its share of stress.
If the relative has been diagnosed with a chronic illness, one source of stress may be uncertainty about the future. For instance, how are your relative’s needs likely to change and over what time period? How will your own health hold up? Will your relative eventually require residential care?
While no one knows what the future holds, there are strategies that can be used to cope with challenges and changes. If you are a caregiver, read on for some of them.
Accept
Accept the reality of your relative’s illness so you can move forward and channel your energy in constructive ways.
Allow yourself to experience all emotions that surface.
Accept that how your relative feels and what they can do may fluctuate, and be flexible about plans and expectations.
Learn
Educate yourself about your relative’s diagnosis.
Be open to learning practical skills, such as proper transferring and bathing techniques. This will make caregiving as safe and pleasant as possible and boost your self-confidence.
Contact the local Agency on Aging to learn about community services that can assist you and your relative.
Communicate
Allow yourself and your relative plenty of time to adjust to the illness and the changes it necessitates. Be patient and keep communication lines open.
Keep the rest of the family informed of changes in your relative’s status.
Involve your relative and other family members in decision-making as much as possible.
Share information with healthcare professionals about your relative’s needs, abilities and preferences. Ask questions, express concerns and offer opinions as you feel the need.
Prepare
Find out what to expect during the course of the illness in terms of probable symptom progression as well as caregiving skills, medical equipment and community supports likely to be needed.
Determine your relative’s wishes regarding living arrangements, outside help, surrogate decision-making, medical intervention and end-of-life care and funeral arrangements. Be careful, though, not to make promises you may not be able to keep.
Help your relative get their affairs in order, including completing legal paperwork such as advance directives, powers of attorney and a will.
Simplify
Eliminate sources of stress in your life wherever possible. Set priorities, streamline tasks and learn to settle for less than perfection.
Take things one day at a time so you don’t become overwhelmed.
Learn to live in the moment and enjoy life’s simpler pleasures.
Practice self-care
Cultivate a healthy sense of humor.
Set aside quiet time each day to nurture your spirituality and help to keep you grounded.
Do something that provides you with meaning and purpose outside of the caregiving role, such as scrapbooking or researching your family tree.
Look after your health. Eat nutritious meals, get adequate rest, exercise and see your physician regularly.
Find something relaxing you can do to give yourself a daily mini-break — perhaps reading or listening to music.
Schedule regular breaks from caregiving duties to recharge your batteries. Take a couple of hours, a day or an overnight.
Connect
Stay connected to your friends.
Find someone you can comfortably talk to about your thoughts and feelings.
Talk with other caregivers. They understand better than anyone else what you are going through. Join a support group in your community or on the Internet.
Get help
Accept offers of help. Ask other family members to share the load and be specific about what you need. Don’t try to go it alone.
Research and take advantage of respite services in your community.
Join a caregivers’ organization — for example, the National Family Caregivers Association (www.nfcacares.org) — that offers information and support and advocates for caregivers’ needs.
Seek help from your primary physician or a counselor if you continually feel sad, angry, hopeless or incompetent. You may have a clinical depression, which is treatable.
*
Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker who has professional and personal experience with elder care. She is also a freelance writer specializing in boomer and senior issues.
If the relative has been diagnosed with a chronic illness, one source of stress may be uncertainty about the future. For instance, how are your relative’s needs likely to change and over what time period? How will your own health hold up? Will your relative eventually require residential care?
While no one knows what the future holds, there are strategies that can be used to cope with challenges and changes. If you are a caregiver, read on for some of them.
Accept
Accept the reality of your relative’s illness so you can move forward and channel your energy in constructive ways.
Allow yourself to experience all emotions that surface.
Accept that how your relative feels and what they can do may fluctuate, and be flexible about plans and expectations.
Learn
Educate yourself about your relative’s diagnosis.
Be open to learning practical skills, such as proper transferring and bathing techniques. This will make caregiving as safe and pleasant as possible and boost your self-confidence.
Contact the local Agency on Aging to learn about community services that can assist you and your relative.
Communicate
Allow yourself and your relative plenty of time to adjust to the illness and the changes it necessitates. Be patient and keep communication lines open.
Keep the rest of the family informed of changes in your relative’s status.
Involve your relative and other family members in decision-making as much as possible.
Share information with healthcare professionals about your relative’s needs, abilities and preferences. Ask questions, express concerns and offer opinions as you feel the need.
Prepare
Find out what to expect during the course of the illness in terms of probable symptom progression as well as caregiving skills, medical equipment and community supports likely to be needed.
Determine your relative’s wishes regarding living arrangements, outside help, surrogate decision-making, medical intervention and end-of-life care and funeral arrangements. Be careful, though, not to make promises you may not be able to keep.
Help your relative get their affairs in order, including completing legal paperwork such as advance directives, powers of attorney and a will.
Simplify
Eliminate sources of stress in your life wherever possible. Set priorities, streamline tasks and learn to settle for less than perfection.
Take things one day at a time so you don’t become overwhelmed.
Learn to live in the moment and enjoy life’s simpler pleasures.
Practice self-care
Cultivate a healthy sense of humor.
Set aside quiet time each day to nurture your spirituality and help to keep you grounded.
Do something that provides you with meaning and purpose outside of the caregiving role, such as scrapbooking or researching your family tree.
Look after your health. Eat nutritious meals, get adequate rest, exercise and see your physician regularly.
Find something relaxing you can do to give yourself a daily mini-break — perhaps reading or listening to music.
Schedule regular breaks from caregiving duties to recharge your batteries. Take a couple of hours, a day or an overnight.
Connect
Stay connected to your friends.
Find someone you can comfortably talk to about your thoughts and feelings.
Talk with other caregivers. They understand better than anyone else what you are going through. Join a support group in your community or on the Internet.
Get help
Accept offers of help. Ask other family members to share the load and be specific about what you need. Don’t try to go it alone.
Research and take advantage of respite services in your community.
Join a caregivers’ organization — for example, the National Family Caregivers Association (www.nfcacares.org) — that offers information and support and advocates for caregivers’ needs.
Seek help from your primary physician or a counselor if you continually feel sad, angry, hopeless or incompetent. You may have a clinical depression, which is treatable.
*
Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker who has professional and personal experience with elder care. She is also a freelance writer specializing in boomer and senior issues.