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Taking Care by Lisa Petsche
Strong Community Connections
Can Help Overcome Isolation
Lisa Petsche
It is easy for family caregivers to become isolated as a result of their chronically ill relative’s ongoing need for practical help or supervision due to physical or mental impairment.
For instance, caregivers may have to give up a job, volunteer work or group recreational activities in order to provide full-time care. Over time they also may lose touch with friends because the heavy demands of caregiving limit their time and energy for nurturing relationships and their ability to get out of the house. All too easily, they become disengaged from formal and informal social networks and stress-relieving leisure activities.
Unfortunately, family support is often minimal or absent, due to societal trends that include delayed marriage, decreased family size and increased mobility. Even if adult children live nearby, they are likely to be raising a family and holding down a job, and therefore have limited time to help mom and dad.
Separation from others fosters loneliness and may precipitate depression, a common affliction among caregivers. While sustaining all relationships may be impossible, close relationships - a vital source of pleasure, validation and practical support - need to be nurtured.
The following are some ways to prevent or overcome isolation, in order to avoid burnout.
• Take the initiative and invite friends over. Don’t wait for them to call or drop in.
• Accept offers of help and ask other family members to share the load. Don’t try to shield them from the reality of your situation. Give them the opportunity to pitch in and be specific about what you need.
• Keep in touch with out-of-area loved ones though phone calls (find a good long-distance savings plan), letters or e-mail.
• Get a portable phone so you don’t miss calls and can multi-task while conversing. Or get an answering machine so friends can leave messages when you are not available.
• Join a community support group (some offer concurrent care) to connect with other caregivers. Information on caregiver groups can be obtained from your local hospital, community social workers and your local community information service. Online caregiver message boards and chat rooms, and electronic mailing lists or discussion forums, are some at-home alternatives. At the very least, subscribe to a caregiving magazine or caregiving website newsletter that offers practical advice and the assurance that you are not alone in the challenges you face.
• Consider in-home respite provided by a health care aide employed by a government agency or hired directly through a home health care agency; an individual hired under a private arrangement; or a trained volunteer (for example, from the Alzheimer’s Association).
• Investigate adult day care programs as well as residential care homes that have a short-stay program (the latter so you can attend out-of-town events or take a vacation). To locate such resources, contact your local office on aging or the non-profit organization associated with your loved one’s disease.
• If mobility issues prevent your relative from accessing day programming or accompanying you out into the community, rent or buy a walker or wheelchair if necessary. Get an adapted van that will accommodate a wheelchair, or register with the local accessible transportation service.
• If your loved one can safely be left alone but you are anxious about the prospect, supply him or her with a portable phone and get yourself a cell phone so you can stay in touch. An emergency response system may also help to put your mind at ease. *
Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker who has professional and personal experience with elder care. She is also a freelance writer specializing in boomer and senior issues.
For instance, caregivers may have to give up a job, volunteer work or group recreational activities in order to provide full-time care. Over time they also may lose touch with friends because the heavy demands of caregiving limit their time and energy for nurturing relationships and their ability to get out of the house. All too easily, they become disengaged from formal and informal social networks and stress-relieving leisure activities.
Unfortunately, family support is often minimal or absent, due to societal trends that include delayed marriage, decreased family size and increased mobility. Even if adult children live nearby, they are likely to be raising a family and holding down a job, and therefore have limited time to help mom and dad.
Separation from others fosters loneliness and may precipitate depression, a common affliction among caregivers. While sustaining all relationships may be impossible, close relationships - a vital source of pleasure, validation and practical support - need to be nurtured.
The following are some ways to prevent or overcome isolation, in order to avoid burnout.
• Take the initiative and invite friends over. Don’t wait for them to call or drop in.
• Accept offers of help and ask other family members to share the load. Don’t try to shield them from the reality of your situation. Give them the opportunity to pitch in and be specific about what you need.
• Keep in touch with out-of-area loved ones though phone calls (find a good long-distance savings plan), letters or e-mail.
• Get a portable phone so you don’t miss calls and can multi-task while conversing. Or get an answering machine so friends can leave messages when you are not available.
• Join a community support group (some offer concurrent care) to connect with other caregivers. Information on caregiver groups can be obtained from your local hospital, community social workers and your local community information service. Online caregiver message boards and chat rooms, and electronic mailing lists or discussion forums, are some at-home alternatives. At the very least, subscribe to a caregiving magazine or caregiving website newsletter that offers practical advice and the assurance that you are not alone in the challenges you face.
• Consider in-home respite provided by a health care aide employed by a government agency or hired directly through a home health care agency; an individual hired under a private arrangement; or a trained volunteer (for example, from the Alzheimer’s Association).
• Investigate adult day care programs as well as residential care homes that have a short-stay program (the latter so you can attend out-of-town events or take a vacation). To locate such resources, contact your local office on aging or the non-profit organization associated with your loved one’s disease.
• If mobility issues prevent your relative from accessing day programming or accompanying you out into the community, rent or buy a walker or wheelchair if necessary. Get an adapted van that will accommodate a wheelchair, or register with the local accessible transportation service.
• If your loved one can safely be left alone but you are anxious about the prospect, supply him or her with a portable phone and get yourself a cell phone so you can stay in touch. An emergency response system may also help to put your mind at ease. *
Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker who has professional and personal experience with elder care. She is also a freelance writer specializing in boomer and senior issues.